Recipe for disaster

Yesterday I had one of my worst parenting days, ever. Despite my best efforts at gentle parenting, that quickly went out the window when - for the tenth time - I had to pull Edward away from climbing chairs, pulling down cups, opening the freezer and so forth. Instead of staying cool and calm I ended up, ashamedly, shouting at Edward.

I think the key thing to remember is that toddlers are more likely to misbehave if they are tired, bored or hungry. Yesterday I made the mistake of spending too long in the kitchen and in hindsight I can see that Edward was bored. He must have quickly sussed out that the best way to get my attention was to be touch naughty things and yes it worked. As Dr. William Sears says in The Good Behavior Book, "The bored child with a busy parent is a high-risk mismatch". Well this was certainly true in our case.

So how should I avoid my meltdowns? If I must get a task done during the day, a very short period of TV seems to do the trick, or if it's a huge task maybe asking a relative or friend to watch Edward for a while, we could even take it in turns. Either way asking my 19 month old son to entertain himself is way beyond his capacity at the moment, and is definitely a recipe for disaster.

Positive?

I've finally made a positive pregnancy test and I am absolutely thrilled. This has been a long awaited, and nagged for pregnancy. Throughout the whole journey of tccing, I promised my husband I would be the perfect pregnant woman, never complaining and allowing the new life to glow within me.

Now I'm pregnant and reality has hit home, I am completely exhausted and over emotional. The worst times seem to be when my 19 month old and myself are tired, which tend to happen in the afternoon. I've been taking Edward out to the park daily but all I can do is sit there and zone out. This is followed by guilt that I'm doing Edward a disservice by not providing enough stimulation.

Luckily I've had plenty of support during the weekend, and as a result, Edward has become much closer to his Nana and Granduck, which can only be a blessing.

I'm really hoping that the second trimester will be easier and the honeymoon period will begin.

To wean or not to wean?

I have a confession to make, I've not been enjoying breastfeeding recently. I've been feeling impatient with it and almost antsy. I've been trying to distract him and give him snacks rather than a breastfeed. This isn't good, my son is bound to pick up on this and be more reluctant to feed.

So here is the big question. Do I want to fully wean my son? Because if I carry on the way I am, I am following the don't offer, don't refuse weaning method. This would be devastating for me. I've always wanted to reach, at least his second birthday. His nursing life is so short and it would be such a shame for it to end so soon.

So from now on, I will offer him milk more often, and never, well hardly ever, try and put him off nursing. I will then review this when he is two years old. Hopefully by then I will be looking towards his third birthday and still going strong!

Rhubarb Cordial

I came across a recipe recently for rhubarb cordial and it really appealed to me. Firstly I had to try and find some rhubarb, unfortunately the only place I could get some was at a local Green grocery, which seemed quite expensive at £1.99 for 1Ib- I needed 6Ibs, so I am going to make half of the recipe and see how we go.

For this recipe you need
3Ib rhubarb
1in fresh ginger
Caster sugar
1 lemon

First wash and cut the rhubarb into chunks.

Simmer rhubarb in a large pan with the peeled and chopped ginger. Add 100ml of water until the rhubarb is soft. Don't over boil, it should take about 8-10 minutes.

While doing this, sterilize the muslin in boiling water.

Then spoon the rhubarb into the muslin and tie it and suspend it over a large pan overnight.


Once the rhubarb had been left overnight I then measured the rhubarb liquid, which worked out about 1 and a half litres. I needed to add about 750 grams of caster sugar per litre of rhubarb liquid. I also added the juice of one lemon and heated the contents until the sugar dissolved. Do not boil.

Once this was done, the cordial was ready to pot in sterile jars. I managed to make three big jars of cordial, unfortunately I've had to put it in jam jars because I don't have the proper bottles, but I think it looks ok.



Now for the biggest test, my husband hates rhubarb, would he hate this? I gave him a glass, diluted with water, and he thought it tasted delicious and refreshing. Double success!

Moon Cup

In response to the last post, the dreaded AF got me this month. On a positive note I got the chance to try the Mooncup I bought a few weeks ago. I was very attracted to the idea of it being eco friendly and I'm already a cloth nappy user so this seemed like an obvious choice.

A Mooncup is a silicon cup that is inserted into the vagina to collect menstruating blood. It can be used instead of tampons and sanitary towels.

I read the instructions carefully, I don't want to get this one wrong, I've heard horror stories of women getting them stuck!

First I had to clean the cup by boiling it in an allocated pan for 7 minutes.
Once this was done I had to prepare some clean scissors and wash my hands.

I then sent my son away to sit with my husband, this is not something I want to try with my son hanging off my leg.

I then squatted and folded the cup and inserted it. It went in first time and felt ok. It doesn't feel fully inflated but it felt fine.

I then tried to take it out. The instructions say I need to press it to release the suction. Which I did. It came out quite easily, panic over, it's not going to be stuck up there.

I then had to cut the tail so it's not hanging out, this took a few goes of inserting and testing. This is quite good because I am now getting the hang of using this Mooncup and might have a better chance of doing it quickly with an audience. My son doesn't let me go to the toilet on my own.

I can wear the Mooncup for 4-6 hours, but I know I will keep checking it today. Every time I take it out I need to wash it in hot, soapy water, which is not a problem for me. I can wear it at night and once my AF is over I need to wash it and store it for next time.

Pros and cons

Pros
Not drying like tampons
Not smelly like sanitary towels
Good for the environment
Saves money
Easy to use

Cons
The initial out lay was expensive £20

I am very pleased with my experience so far, it is much easier than I had anticipated and I can't even tell I'm wearing it, so it must be good.

Natural child spacing

Negative, not a pregnant woman, there said it.

After all that time waiting and wondering.....

I've had unprotected sex surely I should be pregnant by now? If you believe sex education at school then all it takes is one event. It doesn't help that I got a positive ovulation test this month, this must be my month.


I'm not going to cry about this, I know that each month I'm not pregnant is one more month I can nourish my son with precious breast milk and one more month of constantly bding. My body will let me know when it's ready and more importantly when Edward is ready. Natural child spacing is the way to go.

What's your label?

I've been recently reading Doctor William Sears, The good behavior book which mentions the dangers of labeling children, it says "Every child searches for an identity and, when found, clings to it like a trademark." which got me thinking of how we label and perceive ourselves and other people.

All too often I meet new people who instantly give me their label for example vegetarian/vegan and so on. What happens if that label that defines us is the thing that constrains us and could it stop people from looking past the initial label?

I am sure we could all write a list of labels for ourselves, positive and negative. For example, what happens if someone labeled "brainy" fails an exam. Is there a pressure to live up to that label? Even a positive label can have a negative impact and can stop children from fulfilling their full potential and could even prevent a child from trying, just in case they fail.

This is fine but what happens if that label is one given by other people, such as parents or relatives. For example dyslexia or ADHD, from my experience people cling to labels for security even if these labels are not positive. Could the label itself prevent a person from fulfilling their full potential?

I intend to be proactive in preventing any labels being associated with my child especially negative ones, because I believe they can do more damage than good.

So homework for today is to describe yourself and your family and ask where those labels come from and if those labels could become a crutch?