What's your label?

I've been recently reading Doctor William Sears, The good behavior book which mentions the dangers of labeling children, it says "Every child searches for an identity and, when found, clings to it like a trademark." which got me thinking of how we label and perceive ourselves and other people.

All too often I meet new people who instantly give me their label for example vegetarian/vegan and so on. What happens if that label that defines us is the thing that constrains us and could it stop people from looking past the initial label?

I am sure we could all write a list of labels for ourselves, positive and negative. For example, what happens if someone labeled "brainy" fails an exam. Is there a pressure to live up to that label? Even a positive label can have a negative impact and can stop children from fulfilling their full potential and could even prevent a child from trying, just in case they fail.

This is fine but what happens if that label is one given by other people, such as parents or relatives. For example dyslexia or ADHD, from my experience people cling to labels for security even if these labels are not positive. Could the label itself prevent a person from fulfilling their full potential?

I intend to be proactive in preventing any labels being associated with my child especially negative ones, because I believe they can do more damage than good.

So homework for today is to describe yourself and your family and ask where those labels come from and if those labels could become a crutch?

Paper Doves

I have to admit when I first read about the idea of paper doves, here they looked quite a faff and I wasn't sure if they were worth the effort. Then last Friday Edward spent the day fussing and it was an ideal opportunity to try them out. I have to say I am really impressed with the results, I've made enough to go across the room and they look beautiful and really add something to the room. So I am off to try the popcorn garland and reserve judgment this time!

Second attempt at the Christmas pudding

I am afraid the first pudding failed, it didn't cook properly!! So I am making another one with a Jamie Oliver recipe. Here goes...


• A large knob of softened butter
• 100g self raising flour
• 150g fresh white breadcrumbs
• large pinch of salt
• ½ nutmeg, finely grated
• 1 teaspoon mixed spice
• large pinch of cinnamon
• 150g shredded vegetable suet
• 200g soft brown dark sugar
• 100g currants
• 100g sultanas
• 200g raisons
• 100g mixed peel, finely chopped
• 1 heaped tbsp flaked almonds
• 1 small bramley apple, peeled
• 1 small carrot, grated
• Zest & juice of 1 large orange
• 200ml stout
• 3 large eggs
• 1 tbsp black treacle

1. Butter a 1.2 litre pudding basin. Weigh out all of your dry ingredients and put in to a large mixing bowl – when making puddings, because there are lots of ingredients, it is a good idea to tick everything off so as not to leave anything out. Grate in the whole apple, carrot and orange zest.

2. In a large jug measure out the stout, add the eggs and beat thoroughly together, then squeeze in the juice or the orange, add the black treacle and mix well.

3. Now pour the wet ingredients over the dry ingredients, mixing very well with a large wooden spoon – its tradition to get the whole family to have a stir and make a wish.

4. Spoon the mixture in to the pudding basin and pack it in tightly. Cover with a double sheet of baking paper, with a fold in the middle to allow for expansion, then cover with a sheet of foil and tie securely with some string. I've put mine in the slow cooker on High.

5. When the pudding is cooked, remove the paper and foil, tip away any water, allow to cool completely then replace with new greaseproof and foil, tying with string. This is now ready for reheating thoroughly on Christmas Day, so keep it somewhere cool and dark for up to a month.

If this doesn't work, I am off to the shops to buy one!!!

Christmas chutney

Today I am going to try and make Christmas chutney, because I have a whole array of interesting ingredients left from the Christmas pudding, I didn't have to buy very much in order to make it.

Ingredients

• 450g/1lb onions, peeled and chopped

• 5 tbsp water

• 900g/2lb cooking apples, peeled, cored and chopped

• 700g/1½ pears, peeled, cored and chopped

• 85g/3oz dates, stoned and chopped

• 570ml/1 pint cider vinegar

• 1 tsp salt

• 1 tsp ground cinnamon

• 1 tsp cayenne powder

• 225g/8oz sugar

Preparation method

1. Put the onions and the water in a large heavy-based pan. Bring to the boil and simmer until soft.

1. Add the apples and pears and continue cooking gently for 15-20 minutes. Add the dates, salt, spices and half the vinegar. Cook, stirring occasionally until the mixture thickens.

2. Add the sugar and the rest of the vinegar, stirring until the sugar dissolves. Continue to simmer until the chutney becomes really thick, which in my case has taken around 5 hours!
   

4. When ready, pot and seal in sterilised jars and leave to mature for a week or longer.

Taken from BBC food

Christmas pudding

This year Edward is going to eat/throw his first Christmas dinner and I am very excited about this, so to ensure he can participate fully in the Christmas traditions I am making a sugar free Christmas pudding. Although I know that the ingredients below cost a lot more than a shop bought pudding I think I'm getting just as much enjoyment from making the pudding as I will serving it and eating it!

Here are the instructions.

Ingredients

Dry ingredients

• 100g/3½oz raisins
  

• 100g/3½oz currants
  

• 50g/2oz sultanas
  

• 50g/2oz prunes, chopped

• 50g/2oz apricots chopped
  

• 25g/¾oz fresh or dried mixed peel

• 50g/2oz flaked almonds
  

• 150g/5oz fresh pear, puréed in a food processor, with the skin on

• 1 level teaspoon each of ground ginger and cinnamon

• ½ level teaspoon ground mace
  

• 25g/1oz vegetable or meat suet

Wet ingredients

• 2 eggs
  

• 150ml/5fl oz of apple or pear juice

For the flour

• 100g plain flour
  

Preparation method

1. Mix all the dry ingredients together in a large bowl.

2. Beat the eggs (if you are using them) with the juice and brandy if you are using it and stir it into the dry mixture.

3. Sieve the flours together with the baking powder (if you are using it instead of the eggs).

4. Fold the flour very thoroughly into the fruit.

5. Spoon the mixture into a pudding basin, cover with doubled greaseproof paper and tie with a string or rubber bands.

6. Put the basin in a deep pan, pour in water to halfway up the bowl, cover the pan tightly and simmer for 4-5 hours, checking the water level periodically.

7. Remove basin from the pot, discard the greaseproof paper and cover it with new. Allow to cool, then store in a cool larder.

8. To serve, re-steam for 1-2 hours or reheat in a microwave for 3-5 minutes.

Unfortunately I've left it too late to cook it today, as it needs simmering for 4-5 hours, but I intend to cook it first thing tomorrow morning so I will let you know how it goes!

Christmas countdown

I am officially starting to feel Christmassy, after a few tough weeks of having a poorly boy I didn't have the energy to think about Christmas but we've had a few good days so I've managed to catch up with a friends blog and join her in her Christmas countdown.

I tried the dried oranges first and burnt most of them, although the house smelt nice in the process. Here is the recipe.

I then made the mince meat for the first time in my life, which should be ready in one week. It's very easy and smells lovely. Recipe.

I've also made an pomander which is new to me, apparently it drys out leaving a lovely smell and can be used in wardrobes to keep clothes moth free. Here is the recipe.

Then I made the Cinnamon bundles, very easy and looks beautiful on my Christmas tree. Recipe.

If you want any more inspiration I recommend reading this blog, the good enough parent.

Coping tips

Over the past few weeks Edward has been teething and suffering from a cold/cough. This has been tough on us all because he hasn't been sleeping and feeding very well. When you're in the middle of a tough time it seems to last forever, and it's hard to imagine things ever being different. The house starts to look dirty around the edges because I didn't have the time to clean the kitchen floor/wash the sink, and in between Edward sleeping I didn't have the energy to start cleaning. I've had to carry Edward every where because he wouldn't be put down and has been constantly moaning, which I know is because he's been in pain. It's horrible to think that my baby is suffering and there is nothing I can do to stop the pain, I felt so helpless. I also felt that we had lost some of our connection, I couldn't wait to hand him over at the end of the day, which sounds a terrible thing to say about my own child.

Here are a few tips I have picked up along the way on how to cope when things get tough.

• Don't plan anything, then you won't feel disappointed if nothing gets achieved.
• Let go of the house work. House work can wait, even if it's getting really bad.
• Wear your baby in a sling, if you can.
• Email a sympathetic friend. I am really lucky to have a few good friends living relatively close by and they are a god send when things get tough.
• Go for a walk, things feel much better after some fresh air.
• Have a cup of tea.

Luckily this weekend we've had a breakthrough and Edward has had a good couple of days, which allows me to realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We've started to reconnect again and properly play with each other, I've actually enjoyed his company for the first time in weeks. I don't think his teething has properly ended, I suspect the pain comes in waves, but I almost need to give myself permission to let go of the house work and ask for help when it's needed. Here is another link that has inspired me Authentic parenting