Praise

I've read an article recently about praise and it has made me think very deeply about how I praise Edward and what I am expecting to achieve. If he does something that pleases me I give him an abundance of praise, for example saying a new word or crawling for the first time. But what happens if he comes to rely on praise to build his self esteem?

As I am writing this blog I've been showing my husband, who appears non-plussed, which leads to me feeling desperately insecure, which I know is silly. I also need praise because my own opinion isn't good enough, what happens if he grows up to be like me and comes to expect or need other peoples encouragement to build his own self esteem? I don't think this is a positive thing and it's something I need to really think about. I want Edward to be comfortable in himself and to be able to build his own self worth. If I continue to praise every tiny thing that he does, will he come to rely on that?

Engrossed

Following from my previous post, I am writing this blog at 23:49 exactly, I've been writing for an hour. My husband wants to go to bed and I am not ready to. If he demanded we went to bed at the same time I would quite rightly be angry. This must be how Edward feels every day when I stop him from climbing off the edge of the bed to explore or pull him out of the bath too early. As far as he's concerned he is going about his business and someone randomly puts a stop to it. It must be really frustrating and especially as he doesn't have the vocabulary to explain how he feels. I need to take this into consideration from now on and remember how it feels to be dragged away from something that I am engrossed in. I must go to bed now....

Becoming a Parent

Edward is becoming ever more adventurous each day, and with this comes new challenges as he discovers the world around him. I now find myself in new territory, not only do I need to be his mother, but also his parent. I can do the mothering bit, that has come easily, but the parenting role has added a new dimension.

I find this particularly hard when in the company of other parents and children, because Edward likes to snatch toys, like all babies he wants what the other baby has got. I find myself apologising for his behavior not knowing if I should step in and retrieve the object, or let it pass and let them sort it out for themselves. If I snatch, surely I am taking the same action that Edward has just done, how can I lead by example. Sometimes the other parent intervenes and I watch as the object gets snatched out of his tiny grasp, how can a lesson be learned from this? He has no concept of right or wrong and he definitely doesn't understand what I am saying.

I am trying to swap the item for a new one, this seems to be the trick. But I am starting to realise that to parent Edward I need to first put myself in his shoes.

Unwanted advice

These days I am finding myself constantly having to bite my lip from well meaning friends and family offering unwanted advice, so I thought I would write down their advice and the response I would have liked to have given:

"Why don't you leave him to moan?" (this was by a well meaning friend because I respond to Edward immediately rather than letting him cry.) Because if I leave him to moan, next time he wants attention he will cry to get it. At the moment he moans or coughs and this is enough to get mummy's attention.

"He could be just moaning to get attention". Well that's good enough for me, he's got it.

"Why don't you give him juice?" Instead of my breast milk, which do you think is better? If I introduce juice he might completely refuse to drink water and breast milk.

"Are you still feeding him? Will you be poking them through the gates at school?". Breast milk doesn't become useless because he's over 6 months old and I am hoping he will be home schooled, so no gates will be in the way.

"Doesn't your back hurt using the sling?" No, I've carried him since he was a few months old and I am used to his weight, as his weight has increased, so has my strength.

"When will you end co-sleeping?" When Edward can walk from his bed to mine in the middle of the night, if he needs me.

When people give well meaning advice I try not to take it personally but I feel that they are directly trying to tell me I am doing something wrong and if I try and defend myself I am going to end up insulting them, so I end up biting my lip and wishing I had said something different, but they often make it personal by telling me stories of how they did/do it. It's a difficult line to tread!

SAHM

While I was pregnant the idea of being a SAHM terrified me, I mean what would I say at parties if anyone asked what I did for a living? How would I be able to justify my existence without a job title to define me? It wasn't an option, I was defiantly going back to work and full time too. I had worked hard to get where I was as an IT manager and nothing was going to stand in the way of that. I now call this BE (before Edward)

AE (after Edward was born) I soon realised how crazy the above sounds as I instantly fell in love with my tiny baby boy. The full time position soon became a part time request and within a few months I had handed in my notice. Why, because I've come to realise there is more to this parenting role, I hesitate to call it a job because that implies work and Edward defiantly isn't that. It's not just about wiping his bum and getting him dressed, no, there is a whole world out there to explore and I want to help him do it. He fascinates me every single day as he learns a new skill and I love watching him grow. I am never bored, in fact I've started a vegetable patch, learnt how to knit, sew (although quite badly) still breastfeed and cook homemade food. I've learnt so many new skills, which I can hopefully pass down to Edward when he is old enough. I've never been so happy and contented and free. We practice attachment parenting, which seems to fit with my families ethos. So what do I say if anyone asks me, I proudly say I am Edward's mummy.
Here are some of the projects I've worked on!

Edward's Easter costume

Jam from blackberry picking and Marmalade

Jam from blackberry picking

Bread

Knitting